Pre Op

7.00am Monday, 10th May.
I arrive with Jay at Lister Hospital EAU (Elective Admissions Unit) to "check in?" for my operation.
I had been told at my pre-op assessment that I was first on the Surgeons list for the day so should be going down at about 8.30am - quite a manageable waiting time 1h 30 mins.
They weighed me and measured my height (for the 3rd time this week?!) and put me in a bay next to a window in the pre-op waiting area.
I found out after about an hour that actually I was 3rd on the surgeons list and should be going down to theatre after lunch. A nice term I thought to use with someone that was nil-by-mouth and hadn't eaten since 7.30pm the night before. Great.

Anyway they gave me a snazzy gown, DVT prevention stockings and some paper pants (sexy) and told me to get changed, my surgeon would be round soon to see me and do the necessary markings on my so far fairly unscathed body.
The aneasthatist came round first and confirmed I'd be having a general anaesthetic and what to expect when I came round etc etc.
I asked her if I would be having a catheter as in the pre-op assessment I was told this was an option, she said they prefer not to use them due to infection risk - dammit.

Not long after this my wonderful surgeon Mr Javaid arrived with his equally wonderful assistant who I'm afraid I can't remember the name of. They had me stripped to the waist and started drawing all over my boobs and my back, I'm pleased to report they were very specific and really made an effort to make sure the section from the back was neither too large nor too small for the 'hole' that was going to be left after the original breast tissue was removed.
They also explained in more detail exactly how the procedure works, so here you go...

The breast tissue is removed by my consultant (Mr Agarwar) at the same time my Surgeon (Mr Javaid) and his assistant (Mr Noname) put the silicone implant in my good boob (soon to answer only to fab boob!).
After the initial surgery is complete, Agarwar goes off for his break and Javaid and Noname flip me over (gently I hope) cut an eliptical (eye-shape) section of tissue away from my muscle and skin, just under my left shoulder blade, leaving the armpit end attached along with the blood vessels and nerves (to allow a lesser chance of the reconstruction being rejected). This 'portion/slab/lump' of flesh is then rotated 180 degrees and fed under the remaining skin under my arm and relocated in the space where my boob used to reside. They then swiftly stitch the gap on my back together leaving a rather long but very neat straight line scar across my back (horizontally) which when healed will lay under my bra. I am then flipped back over again for them to build the mound that will become my new boob. At the same time inserting the expandable implant under the tissue ready for pumping up at a later date. Phew.

All of this should take approx 5 1/2 to 6 hours.

So, when the surgeons had finished explaining what they were going to do to me and had confirmed that yes I would be getting a cathetar and no they couldn't guarantee what my new bra size would be as they "don't make silicone implants in cup-sizes" apparently.

I was left for another 2-3 hours waiting to be told I could go down to theatre.

At 1.00pm they finally said they were ready for me so off I went with my carrier bag full of belongings and a drafty gown down to theatre, I was put on a gurny (I think it's called) and told we were just waiting for Mr Agarwar to arrive (Arrive? I thought, not being funny but shouldn't my surgeon actually be ON the premises before they take me down to theatre?) Well obviously so as it was another 30 minutes before they did anything else with me.
I was kindly lent a copy of Heat magazine from the staff room while the anaesthatists sat and chatted about what they'd eaten for lunch (does no one in this place realise how hungry pre-op patients are before going into surgery when they have been nil-by-mouth for 18 hours?!) I did actually ask them to talk about something else which they did (I think I was scary hungry by this point so they didn't dare ignore me!).
Finally at 1.30pm Mr Agarwar strolled in and looked totally baffled, as if he'd just woken up and been told he had to go into surgery, which was a little concerning as obviously I knew exactly what he was meant to be doing and felt a little nervous by his lack of conviction.

Just before 2pm I was rolled around to Theatre room 4 where the lights in the Anaesthetic room had blown (you can never get a good electrician when you need one eh)
So they moved me to Anaesthetic room 2 where the lights were working to put me under then back to Theatre room 4 - blimey what a palaver.

Well that's obviously all I remember up to as the rest I was thankfully fully unconcious for!